System failure!

We've finally started to thaw, so snow is rapidly becoming watery and slushy. Yay! But the kids created these gi-normous snowmen the other day; I took pictures of them and...my memory card died! The snowmen already fell over. Oh well. 

Another victim of the weather: we went out yesterday in Jason's car. It's a modified VW GTI lowered with high profile tires, so it basically has no clearance underneath. He was driving over some hideous snow drifts and kept, like, surfing over them. Finally last night, when we were on our way to friends' house for dinner, we turned a corner and heard an ungodly grinding/scraping noise. We parked it in a parking lot (and the friend provided chauffeur service). Turned out it was some obsolete protective stuff that he's been systematically taking out the hard way via speed bumps, and now, snow. It was hanging off the undercarriage by one bolt.

Last (hopefully), but not least, when he went to try to get my car out of the garage, the battery was dead. It's the original battery, but still, heck of a time to die, dude. Sigh....

Bah whatever...

Kyra commented tonight that she was worried that she wasn't looking forward to Christmas this year, which was sad to her because it's her favorite. Not sure if it's the snow-bound thing or being isolated from friends or the duplicate gift her dad got her for her birthday (she cried about feeling bad that her dad did that, too--we are so heading into the land of hormones here!) Anyway, I concur. Not sure if it's depression due to unemployment or the economy or being snow-bound here and able to only buy stuff online, but I am so over the holidays. We aren't even sure any of us will be mobile enough to celebrate together with other family.

One possible cool thing: I designed a tee shirt for Jason based on his martini recipe. I'll post a picture if it turns out nice. I uploaded my design to a website and got to choose what to put it on. Very cool... Hopefully my martini glass doesn't look cheesy. My olive is very cool looking.

Here's how the whole "weight loss" thing has been going since being home.

I made brownies, a banana layer cake with cream cheese frosting, cream of broccoli soup (with 1% milk, no cream), and tonight a whole wheat veggie lasagna.

I tried my new Bollyarobics DVD. It was.... weird, and I ended up pulling something in my back. Didn't feel like taking a walk, probably because hardly anything is open. Tomorrow we have Kyra's appointment to get braces, so we'll take the bus and do some shopping downtown. That will be a good walk.

Is this impressive or what?

The picture on the top is the snowman the kids built on Thursday. The other picture is what it looks like today (note the dazed bird who tried to fly through our window). Note how there were patches of slush before. Sigh. Snow expected all week. We tried to both get my car up the driveway yesterday and buy chains for my car, but neither attempts took. It seems a 45 degree slope trumps all wheel drive. And my tires are the wrong size to allow chains on my car, or something. It's a bit weird. Something about the clearance.

Still no tree and I guess I have to complete my xmas shopping online, provided UPS can deliver stuff. Good thing Jason was able to do some shopping yesterday in his trusty and small VW GTI.

Grrrrrr!

Yes, more snow, just when I thought it was safe to go in the car, too. The emergency school system phone at 5:50 this morning to let us know that school would be delayed by 2 hours. Needless to say, I couldn't get back to sleep after that, plotting and worrying about xmas shopping. Then around 9 it started snowing again. Oh well... It will be a cheaper holiday if I have to do it all online.

Save me!

Day 3 of Winter Wonder Hell. No school again tomorrow, and more snow due. The kids are already bored of playing outside and have moved on to irritating each other. Sigh. I am so not on program this week... Warm front, anyone??

A colder level of hell...

Yes, I am the worst mommy in the world. Yesterday we had what we Portlanders refer to as "a blizzard" (known to those in the Mid West as "a typical winter day", so today was a snow day. Wait: yesterday was a snow day! Don't I get credit for time served?!  

Snow is all fine and good until you have to drive in it. And then there's snow "play". It's all fun and games until someone gets hit with a snow ball. Kyra was a better sport about that, considering Ethan's deadly aim and her not so precise aim. So he was the only one whining when he finally got hit with snow. His retaliation, however, was to knock over part of her painstakingly erected snow fort. This seemed a bit pyrrhic considering she retaliated back. They built these things by filling empty cat litter buckets with snow and lifting them to the deck with a hose nozzle.

So today Kyra had an orthodontic appointment. No way I'm going to drive in snow (yes, good thing it only snows once or twice a year here), so Jason and his snow tires drove us there. Surprisingly, most patients did make it there, so we were unable to get in early. Unfortunately, only one tech was in, so the wait was a bit long. Then onto the light rail and then a bus and then a walk home. I hadn't even had a shower or breakfast (trying to stay on the wagon by avoiding pastry), so I was a bit cranky... But the kids were both picking on each other all the way home and I made them both take a time out when we got home. 

Considering it's like 20 degrees out and very icy, we're probably due for more of the same tomorrow, god help us. I may have to hide somewhere and let them have run of the house. Sigh. Couldn't the snow have waited until next week? Or after I finished my xmas shopping????

Do-overs, family style

I forget where I got it, but my latest strategy for talking Ethan off of metaphorically dangerous mood ledges is the idea of pushing a reset button and starting fresh. I say I like the idea because it isn't exactly working well with Mr "I'm determined to be naughty and in a bad mood and I will talk myself into some serious consequences whether I realize it or not, SO THERE!" It works at Defcon 4, but anything higher and he just doesn't get that it is his behavior that is escalating the bad vibes. When, oh when, is logic going to start showing it's little tiny head to my boy?? Just not at being able to reason with him. And it usually starts by me just correcting him, then quickly explodes into me making him sad or mad with my comments. Somehow, it's always my fault (and this is definitely nurture....)

But I digress. Anyway, since I started hauling myself back on the weight loss wagon, Weight Watchers chose this week to launch some new tweaks to their program. Since I am back to my starting weight, and I noticed an actual reset button in WW's eTools, I was faced with a decision: do I clear out the past 5 (?!?) years of ups and downs, including my reaching goal in 2005, and start clean, or do I keep the past around to alternately goad me or taunt me, depending on my mood?? Ultimately, today I decided to make a clean sweep. The last time I started losing weight after gaining it all again, I felt a sense of falseness about celebrating my loss. Outwardly I wasn't punishing myself for gaining the weight back, but my actions of not allowing anyone to "recelebrate" spoke louder than words. So this time I want to treat every pound like it really is: a success, a victory against my old adversary "Fat". Go, Me!

Grrrr! Fell in the trap again!

Curse you, Sesame Donuts! Why on earth did I think this was a good week to try you?! I don't usually even like donuts. 

I know the first one was OK: I still had some flex points and I was out of money, so I could only get one. It was pretty yummy.  But sometime after that, after the 2nd two, I started buying into the "Last Binge before starting" myth. Next week, WW is launching some new twist to the plan. I hadn't been thinking consciously that I would wait to get on the wagon then, that I would have one last hurrah before getting serious. Apparently, my sub-conscious had other ideas, and they involved donuts. Lots of donuts. And unfortunately, coincidentally, the best donuts I've had in years. Yes, better than Krispy Kreme (which, incidentally, I think suck). Sesame Donuts is run by a Lebanese couple. The guy's pretty funny. But they have their raised donut recipe perfect, and the crullers are just to die for. I've gotten bavarian creme out of my system, and the actual sesame donut is good, but a cake donut, which is not all that yummy to me. It's the crullers and filled donuts that are the problem. I had 4 yesterday. Sigh. So of course I'm up today.

OK, so is that all out of your system now, chiquita?? One would hope... I am looking forward to checking out the launch of the WW site tomorrow and getting a preview of things to come. I am hoping to get some kind of exercise every day this week. I even have some notion of cleaning up my sewing room. I do need more interview clothes, and I found a pile of patterns the other day that I still really like, along with material to make one. So all I have to get through is measuring myself and figuring out which size to make. If I can get through that objectively, without launching into another pity party of despair over how I've gotten so off track weight-wise, then I will be pleased with myself next week.

At least I'm still ahead by .4 lbs...

Karma?

So I'm thinking that in a past life I was in prison or was a homeless person or perhaps a goat because I've always hoarded my food and eaten it very quickly. Today I almost went too far with that. I was scarfing down frosted flakes (well, it was better than chocolate or cookies as a treat) and one went down the wrong way. I still feel not totally right in my throat, but I had a panicky little moment of freaking out that I'd choke and be caught in the act, after the fact, of eating my kids' cereal.

I can't tell you how often recently I've done this. Just the other day it was tangerine. Sometimes it's soup. Alternately, I'll chew so fast that I bite my lip. Well, the biting thing started after I had my braces removed (a mere 10 years ago: yes, I am a late bloomer...) But I really do need to learn how to eat properly, nutrition aside.

Is there a class in rendering CPR to yourself??

Right of passage

Today was my first kid-free day in over a week. Just 2 more weeks until the kids are home for the holidays, too. December is an odd month... So I settled down and tackled money issues, specifically the flexible spending accounts we have for health and dependent care money. We already realized that this year, instead of setting up a "health savings" account which rolls over indefinitely, we set up ("we"...) the normal use it or lose it health account. So I've been working on getting balances to see what we have at stake. Today I did some more refills. Still, we stand to lose, best guess, about half the money, which is a CHUNK of change, let me tell you. I have to get an accounting of what the mammogram will cost, but aside from that we will still have a lot of money at stake.

Poor Kyra....

The fastest way to use up that money is braces. I hadn't planned on starting them this year, especially with me still unemployed. However, if it means not losing close to $2000, sounds like the right time to start to me. I called our orthodontist and the wonderful woman I spoke to took pity on me and agreed to get the ball rolling in 2 weeks. The records appointment is first, and the first painful appointment will be 2 days after Kyra's birthday, 3 days before xmas.

So on top of not getting a WII, on not getting a new bike, on probably not even getting more than $100 worth of gifts, the poor kid is going to be in pain. Sigh....