Baby steps

So the topic for last week's meeting was the futility of trying to do anything, with the word "trying" being the problem. The theory (and even Yoda agrees with this) is that to try is to give yourself an out. If you try to do something or promise to try it's like the unspoken thought is "but...I may not be able to". Think about it: if your response to an invitation is "I'll try to make it" do you really want to go??? So the key is not to try, but to do. And if you don't do, it's because you don't want to deep down.

I knew last try at WW that I didn't really mean it. I remember one meeting when the leader asked us to raise our hands if we wanted to lose weight, and I thought to myself that I didn't really want that. So now, as I slip past my highest weight (ouch) and I try on summer clothes that don't fit, I need to want to lose weight, and I need to find a way to mean that.

I have a lot of intellectual reasons to lose weight: the way it makes me feel to be healthier, fitting into my clothes, being healthier, living longer, even "bragging rights". Knowing all the reasons for why I should lose weight is just like knowing I should floss more or I should get out there and be more social. It's a should and not a want. To me that just don't always equal action. So this time, if I want to be successful, I need to try something different. This time, I choose...vanity.

Why not? Vanity is one of the reasons I won't go swimming. Yes, every time I go to a pool I see hundreds of people in worse shape than me, people who really should rethink their bathing suit choices. But I am not them. I know it's vanity keeping me out of the pool. Or stubbornness (more on that another post). So maybe this time if I appeal to my vain side I can find the motivation to stay on program.

Last week I took little baby steps and lost 1.2 lbs. Yay me! This week I will work a little harder to stick to the plan. If I maintain this rate of loss, I will be about 20 lbs down by my HS reunion (hello, vanity). So that's my goal: to find that place in me that can do this; to get to a place where I want to lose weight. And when I find that, I will succeed because I know I can do it when I really want to.