Grrrr! Fell in the trap again!

Curse you, Sesame Donuts! Why on earth did I think this was a good week to try you?! I don't usually even like donuts. 

I know the first one was OK: I still had some flex points and I was out of money, so I could only get one. It was pretty yummy.  But sometime after that, after the 2nd two, I started buying into the "Last Binge before starting" myth. Next week, WW is launching some new twist to the plan. I hadn't been thinking consciously that I would wait to get on the wagon then, that I would have one last hurrah before getting serious. Apparently, my sub-conscious had other ideas, and they involved donuts. Lots of donuts. And unfortunately, coincidentally, the best donuts I've had in years. Yes, better than Krispy Kreme (which, incidentally, I think suck). Sesame Donuts is run by a Lebanese couple. The guy's pretty funny. But they have their raised donut recipe perfect, and the crullers are just to die for. I've gotten bavarian creme out of my system, and the actual sesame donut is good, but a cake donut, which is not all that yummy to me. It's the crullers and filled donuts that are the problem. I had 4 yesterday. Sigh. So of course I'm up today.

OK, so is that all out of your system now, chiquita?? One would hope... I am looking forward to checking out the launch of the WW site tomorrow and getting a preview of things to come. I am hoping to get some kind of exercise every day this week. I even have some notion of cleaning up my sewing room. I do need more interview clothes, and I found a pile of patterns the other day that I still really like, along with material to make one. So all I have to get through is measuring myself and figuring out which size to make. If I can get through that objectively, without launching into another pity party of despair over how I've gotten so off track weight-wise, then I will be pleased with myself next week.

At least I'm still ahead by .4 lbs...

Karma?

So I'm thinking that in a past life I was in prison or was a homeless person or perhaps a goat because I've always hoarded my food and eaten it very quickly. Today I almost went too far with that. I was scarfing down frosted flakes (well, it was better than chocolate or cookies as a treat) and one went down the wrong way. I still feel not totally right in my throat, but I had a panicky little moment of freaking out that I'd choke and be caught in the act, after the fact, of eating my kids' cereal.

I can't tell you how often recently I've done this. Just the other day it was tangerine. Sometimes it's soup. Alternately, I'll chew so fast that I bite my lip. Well, the biting thing started after I had my braces removed (a mere 10 years ago: yes, I am a late bloomer...) But I really do need to learn how to eat properly, nutrition aside.

Is there a class in rendering CPR to yourself??

Right of passage

Today was my first kid-free day in over a week. Just 2 more weeks until the kids are home for the holidays, too. December is an odd month... So I settled down and tackled money issues, specifically the flexible spending accounts we have for health and dependent care money. We already realized that this year, instead of setting up a "health savings" account which rolls over indefinitely, we set up ("we"...) the normal use it or lose it health account. So I've been working on getting balances to see what we have at stake. Today I did some more refills. Still, we stand to lose, best guess, about half the money, which is a CHUNK of change, let me tell you. I have to get an accounting of what the mammogram will cost, but aside from that we will still have a lot of money at stake.

Poor Kyra....

The fastest way to use up that money is braces. I hadn't planned on starting them this year, especially with me still unemployed. However, if it means not losing close to $2000, sounds like the right time to start to me. I called our orthodontist and the wonderful woman I spoke to took pity on me and agreed to get the ball rolling in 2 weeks. The records appointment is first, and the first painful appointment will be 2 days after Kyra's birthday, 3 days before xmas.

So on top of not getting a WII, on not getting a new bike, on probably not even getting more than $100 worth of gifts, the poor kid is going to be in pain. Sigh....

I'm a loser!

Down 1.6 even after Turkey Day! Yay me!

Goals for the week: water, exercise, and count non-Core points. Can we do this? Yes we can!

Genetics: the gift that keeps on giving

For the past few years, my after Thanksgiving tradition has not been to shop the day after, but to get a mammogram. Booking the day is ridiculously easy since not a lot of people think to go during a holiday (or maybe they just sleep in). This was my 4th mammogram (yes, I did miss a few since turning 40...), but nothing has been the same since my biopsy last year.

The women in my family share the bond of having fibrocystic breasts. It's the kind of thing that you can ignore as white noise until it affects you, which is what I've always done until last year. Then of course I grilled my sisters about their biopsies (all 3 have had them). And now that the fuss of sharing is over, we're back to the white noise part. I didn't even bring up my appointment during dinner last night. Today while waiting for my turn, and then waiting for another turn, and finally waiting for an ultrasound, I had sort of a resolved calm about it. I was more freaked out last year. And hearing that it was fine, but having to go in for an ultrasound was a mixed message that didn't really appease me.

I suppose I should just count myself lucky that it took 46 years to get to the place where genetics started to show up. All my mammograms have been digital rather than x-ray, and that is what prevented me from being aware of the state of my boobs. I've always had calcifications, but until they started looking a bit different last time, my third mamm, the doctors were content to just keep an eye on them. My one sister isn't as lucky. With her insurance, she has standard mamms and has had 3 biopsies already. I've turned my other local sister on to my digital imaging center. She has crappy insurance that doesn't cover silly things like women's health, and it's made her a bit gun-shy, as it were, about going for another mammogram. In fact I better check up on her and make sure she followed through like she said she would...

There are so many other genetic things that could be wrong with my family: I know in many ways we're really lucky. Breast cancer is not one of them, but fibrocystic breasts is sort of like the ugly step sister of  problems: mostly benign, but a hell of a pain in the ass....

Survivor of the holidays!

I made it through Thanksgiving! I slaved over the meal and the turkey was pretty damned good. I brined it in kosher salt and creole seasoning, and then roasted it with herbs, onions and garlic--and 3 sticks of butter (I'm waiting to tell my sisters about the butter: I'm so mean!) I searched and searched for tarts for dessert, since I didn't want tempting leftovers hanging around and circumventing my restart to Weight Watchers. After a morning dicing and chopping and sauteing, I ended up stuffing so bad that I tossed it after everyone left. The really ironic thing is my excuse for making stuffing this year was to have it moister than last year's. That mine was even dryer while being spicy was just plain embarrassing. After the fact, I realized it was because I followed the recipe to the letter. When I made it in the past, I didn't use actual cornbread (it is, after all, supposed to be cornbread stuffing), and that would go to explain what went to heinously wrong. Jason also over salted the gravy, but I don't do gravy so that faux pas didn't bother me as much. The turkey was a bit on the salty side, and I will certainly cut down the salt in the brine next time (the recipe was for a 16 lb bird, but mine was only 12). It also called for 2 tablespoons of salt after the brining, which I cut in half.

Things to remember for next time: salt it outside of the roasting pan. And I had to admit it, but our expensive non-stick roaster is not suited for deglazing the pan for the gravy, so I may have to get another one for just turkeys. After I get a job....

My exceptional children

End of the fall school conferences tonight. Phew! With Kyra in middle school, we had our first teacher-fest-o-rama, by which we spoke to all of her teachers for "10" minutes each. We ended up speaking at least twice that with her science and math teachers. Kyra got straight A's on her first report card with letter grades. All her teachers were very pleased with her and gushed all over the place.

I was a little worried about Ethan's first conference, needlessly. His teacher is very sharp and very good at personalizing each contact. She, too, gushed about Ethan's enthusiasm and artistic ability (although Jason and I were stumped at what she meant: overly critical or ??) She said he was on track overall but could use some work on phonemes. She also said one of his table-mate's parents reported that he is mean to their daughter, but she never caught him doing it. I'm thinking: hmmmm.... sounds somewhat believable. Aside from that, the teacher says he's helpful and social and easily correctible (I must admit I'm going to try the trick she shared on getting him back on task).

So 2 school days off and 4 more to go, plus the weekend. Sigh. What will I threaten once we see "Bolt" tomorrow??

And the weight....

Well, down a half lb, back to my old all-time high weight. I'm doing better tracking this week, and I've already worked out 3 times and had 2 walks. I'm not too worried about Thanksgiving. Turkey upsets my stomach, and the stuffing will, too, between the red peppers and the wheat gluten. We'll see if that helps me not overeat. I'll be getting fat free cool whip for the pie. Then back on program the next morning. I'm trying to feel hopeful rather than bummed or pissed off that I have to start over again. This is something I did, it was not done to me. I can't point fingers and it's pointless to castigate myself, so just move on. This, too, shall pass, and this time maybe it'll stick!

Little Boy Blue and his scary mask

Jason was John McCain for Halloween, and last night at our Ginfest 2008 party Ethan decided to scare us all by wearing the mask. I laughed so hard I almost was incontinent. I couldn't find my camera last night, so today Ethan put the mask on again. He shows his party colors in his blue apparel.

Arrrr, matey!

As I said, last night was Ginfest 2008, an annual (so it seems) party where Jason gets to finally use all the gin he owns and make tasters of different drinks without having to consume them all himself. He found many friends willing to be guin...er, tasters for this event. I was not one of them. Instead, my sister Lisa and I watched a Bollywood movie upstairs. This was probably the best party of ours we've ever had (or was that merely because I abstained from hostessing it and hid from all the people??? er....) 

Anyway, I found the movie, Kal Ho Naa Ho, at a local Indian store. The shop keeper said I could buy the original or a copy. I chose the copy, and it was probably a mistake. For one, it was a pirated copy, so bad me for eluding copyright laws. Also, the subtitles were HORRIBLE: white on white and delayed at least one line from what the current actor was saying. Anyway, I told the kids I bought a pirated movie, and Ethan insisted on watching it with us. I let him, for some reason probably to do with the path of least resistance. Surprisingly he watched the whole thing, all 2.5 hr+ of it (and he only had one time out for sticking Lisa with a paper yo-yo). Afterwards he commented, "There were no pirates in that." Well yes, duh. Lots of scenery chewing, cheesiness, and songs, but alas, no pirates. Perhaps that would have taken the movie from 2.5 stars to 3. Or not... Today, perhaps inspired by the movie, Ethan says he wants to be a pirate next year for Halloween. Only 363 shopping days left to buy his costume...