Baby steps

So the topic for last week's meeting was the futility of trying to do anything, with the word "trying" being the problem. The theory (and even Yoda agrees with this) is that to try is to give yourself an out. If you try to do something or promise to try it's like the unspoken thought is "but...I may not be able to". Think about it: if your response to an invitation is "I'll try to make it" do you really want to go??? So the key is not to try, but to do. And if you don't do, it's because you don't want to deep down.

I knew last try at WW that I didn't really mean it. I remember one meeting when the leader asked us to raise our hands if we wanted to lose weight, and I thought to myself that I didn't really want that. So now, as I slip past my highest weight (ouch) and I try on summer clothes that don't fit, I need to want to lose weight, and I need to find a way to mean that.

I have a lot of intellectual reasons to lose weight: the way it makes me feel to be healthier, fitting into my clothes, being healthier, living longer, even "bragging rights". Knowing all the reasons for why I should lose weight is just like knowing I should floss more or I should get out there and be more social. It's a should and not a want. To me that just don't always equal action. So this time, if I want to be successful, I need to try something different. This time, I choose...vanity.

Why not? Vanity is one of the reasons I won't go swimming. Yes, every time I go to a pool I see hundreds of people in worse shape than me, people who really should rethink their bathing suit choices. But I am not them. I know it's vanity keeping me out of the pool. Or stubbornness (more on that another post). So maybe this time if I appeal to my vain side I can find the motivation to stay on program.

Last week I took little baby steps and lost 1.2 lbs. Yay me! This week I will work a little harder to stick to the plan. If I maintain this rate of loss, I will be about 20 lbs down by my HS reunion (hello, vanity). So that's my goal: to find that place in me that can do this; to get to a place where I want to lose weight. And when I find that, I will succeed because I know I can do it when I really want to.

Curse you, Comcast!!

I am so not  having fun with the upcoming digital conversion for TVs. It's not the national conversion that's the problem here. My TVs are fine. It's the fact that my cable provider is taking this opportunity to make some changes to their digital service. Overview: they're requiring digital converter boxes on all TVs in order to get any channel over 30 (in other words, all the good cable channels like Disney and CNN). This means that not only do we have to reconfigure our TVs to include these stupid boxes (we don't use a box currently) but we also lose the ability to record TV shows. The boxes don't play well with the digital converter boxes. The sales guys keep trying to sell my on how many more channels I'll be getting and how much on-demand and pay-per-view I'll be able to get (like that's of any value: we already have Netflix for movies).

I just got off the phone with my third cable guy. It was a 35 minute conversation. As nice as he was, this time I take Jason's view that it's 35 minutes of my life I won't ever get back. The best deal he could make us is $11 more than we'd pay if we switched to Direct TV. I'm pretty sure I know which way the wind is blowing now. Considering we're in for an afternoon of messing with our TVs, there is no loss for us to switch providers now. The up-side of this whole mess is getting DVR service: the ability to pause and rewind live TV, watch one channel and record up to 2 others, and justify the whole shebang as saving us money every month. Cool. That 35 minutes pays off.

Timing is Everything

Riddle me this: how is it that I can put Ethan to bed at 8:00 and it's hard for him to drag himself out of bed on time, yet if I move up his bedtime to 7:30, he wakes up 45 minutes early?? What's up with that?! Both yesterday and today he was up at 7:15. Before spring break, he was hard pressed to make it up by 8 come Friday. Sigh.

Still trying to get our nightly routine to allow for more Ethan-time, but dinner is still ending around 7 to 7:20, which is not enough time to do anything except rush the boy. Both Kyra and I are already annoyed at the lacrosse practice schedule, which happens at dinnertime on Tues. and Thurs. Haven't even had a game yet and she was trying to beg off practice this week. I told her no way considering how much it cost and how hard she begged. I don't want to get all "Remember when you tried ______ and you gave it up and we put all that money and time into it??" on her and not let her try new things, but on the other hand, we sort of can't afford to be experimental right now. Oh well...

Does this font make me look fat?

Looking for something springy. Out of nowhere it became warm today. Seize the moment (so unlike me, but hey...)

Wanted: a mother

So apparently the only way I can be held accountable for a really hard or overly challenging or somewhat boring task is guilt. Unless I am accountable to someone, some of my more spontaneous promises will just fall to the wayside. I think everyone has experienced one of my grand ideas that never gets off the ground. Well, payback is a bitch...

I am nearly done cutting out the pieces of the quilt I committed to make for my daughter's school auction. One week ago, I showed the winner bidder a number of ideas for what I thought were all easy-ish quilts, and now almost a week later I have yet to finish one block of this monsterish "intermediate" quilt. Actually, yesterday I gave up on making the sample block because A) I could see that the colors were working without finishing it and B) I slapped the pieces together without really following directions and ended up having to rip everything apart several times. Since I'd already shown that my seams were too narrow and that it pays to follow directions (sigh) what was the point in continuing? I actually bought more material than I need, so I have lots of wiggle room in case something else goes wrong. 

In the meantime, the monotony of tracing templates onto fabric and cutting them out is starting to get to my neck, my back and my mind. Calgon, take me away!!!! All that stands between me finishing up the last template shape is like 100 pieces (I'm sadly enough not exaggerating) and these 2 marking pencils that keep breaking when I sharpen them. Did you know it's really hard to find a good marking device for dark fabrics?? Me neither. I swear half the pencil has ended up in the trash after snapping off below the base of the pencil wood. It is not helping my mood. This project is going to make all the other quilts I do look like child's play in comparison. Hopefully it will be stunning. The recipient is not a sewer and I'm sure she'll be happy with the results. If I don't commit seppuku in the meantime, I'm sure I'll be proud of how it turned out and pleased that I was able to donate something meaningful to my daughter's school. Till then, back to the salt mines (bugger...)

They're gone now: yay!!

Ah, back to school! Taking advantage of everyone being gone by cleaning the cupboard of expired condiments. The genesis of this project came about over the weekend when I opened a "new" bottle of worcestershire sauce and noted that it's expiration date passed by over a year. Yipes! How the heck did that happen?! I felt compelled to try it, and it was in fact flat, so today after Jason left, I dumped it. Then I combed the fridge and cabinets for other expired products. The oldest was from 2003 (guess I didn't like that tandoori paste...) Some are suspect, but had no date so I left them alone. I know that I will eventually buy a new one anyway, but... just couldn't toss it. Aside from the recycling bin already being full of empty condiment bottles (I'm up to 11), I don't think I'll be stir frying soon (I have 2 old, partially full bottles of sesame oil and one unopened bottle of "wok sauce").

I feel better now. Well, aside from the burn in my lungs and the sting in my eyes when I was rinsing the tabasco and chili paste jars I feel fine.

Struggling to climb back on the wagon. To that end I was looking at recipes. I'm ostensibly preparing a shopping list, including the now depleted condiments, but I have the feeling I'm just dragging my heels. 

I started on that auction quilt and it turns out that it's quite complicated. So apparently the jump from "beginner" to "intermediate" is less of a few steps and more of a gaping crevasse. Most of the pieces have to be cut from patterns (yeah, I just didn't read ahead far enough when I suggested the pattern to the quilt buyer--sigh), and even the most careful pining doesn't seem to reduce ripping out seams and starting over. I'm making one block to make sure it looks good and will work out before I cut the whole thing out, and I'm halfway done. Dragging feet... Maybe I'll clean the fridge first... I told the lady I'd be done with piecing this week, so I know I should go down there and face it. Quilting it will be a piece of cake after all this marking and cutting.

"I hate spring break!!"

Actually, those are my sentiments exactly, but it was Ethan who said that. We made the mistake of letting the kids watch TV on Monday morning, so by Tuesday they already were expecting to watch it. Yesterday, we got a full-body face down on the floor tantrum, and that's when Ethan made his statement. 

Not helping: I got some weird pinched nerve thing in my back over the weekend, and today's the first day I don't have any twinges, so Jason's been doing some entertaining, which also means yard work in our house (it's a give and take situation). The original plan was for Jason and Kyra to go off to south-eastern Oregon on a backpacking trip, but after he saw that pretty much all the best places were surrounded by snow, that was not an option. I guess Ethan would have been happier had that occurred because honestly I was planning on letting him watch all the TV he could stomach.

Still, I don't want them to expect TV constantly on days off. That tends to lead to expectations. If I am forced to pick a kid up who is not really sick, I will say no TV, just rest, but if they stay home sick and are all listless, then they do get TV. I know: weird policy, but there you go, and I was a kid, too, once...