Yesterday was a truly bizarre day. I spent much of it like an observer in my own body, frantically hitting undo to all the bad impulses I kept having.
This is a critical week for me. Exactly one year ago I was also at this weight. I flirted with it for a few weeks and ultimately started trending upwards, eventually regaining 10 pounds. My pattern has been pretty predictable for the last couple of years. I can't seem to gain (as it were) any new ground.
I feel like I've just been treading water, and anytime I actually start to make progress, something happens and I get sucked back into the undertow, or like they say in the World According to Garp, the Undertoad. What is it that derails me? Some catastrophic event? Some random food fest? Apparently, it is boredom.
How else can you explain my sudden interest in the half bag of chocolate chips that has been in my pantry for at least six months? Or my obsession with the cookie dough from the kids' play date. Granted, those are my favorite cookies, but the dough? Not so much. Looked at it at least three times. WTF?!?
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