Look out behind you!

You know those horror films where the scrappy girl goes off by herself against all advice, and you're sitting in your seat, as she blithely looks the wrong ways, and you're screaming at the screen: "Look behind you! Run!", and she doesn't? Welcome to my life.

I spend a lot of time (A. LOT. Of. Time.) thinking about what I can do to stay motivated, to stick with program, to move more, and, inevitably, what I can eat and what I want to eat. It all falls apart during some random moment of carelessness or stupidity or just pretending I don't have a problem with eating too much of the wrong thing. It's like I'm that girl and the audience, and I can see me talking the talk, and wondering why I can't lose weight, and I see me reach for the food, and I'm screaming, "No! Not the Doritos!! Step away from that cookie!" Is it any wonder I  throw my hands up and change the channel?

I am on the precipice, and I can see the other side, and I can see exactly where I should not step in order to fall. So I had a slight gain this week. I can see just what happened, and I know it's not reversible.

There was that pain, and that made me less active this week. There was stress at work and that made me take fewer trips up and down the stairs for ice water. There was that brownie and that danish, and yes, the Doritos, but add them all up and that wasn't even the problem. For all my accounting and accountability, I am still not giving myself enough credit for what I did do right. For not buying anything in the bakery that day. For walking the form to school instead of driving (even if I didn't get any activity points for it). For going to Weight Watchers this morning without my friend when I could have stayed home and not gone like her.

So I going to continue to try to listen to the voices in my head when they say good things, and filter them out when they start that negative talk (can you do positive reinforcement with yourself?)

Goal for the week: walk just 15 minutes a day. Keep drinking that water, and parking farther away from your destination. And watch out behind you: that cookie does NOT have your name on it...